Saturday, October 5, 2013

Just so you know...

Some things have been happening in my life recently that I truly have no control over. I have to let God do His will through me. As you have seen in a previous post, I went to Denver for another class for work. Had a great time there meeting new people and spending time with a special someone. Well, he decided to end the week on a down note. Went so far as to "unfriend" me on FB. Now, I really can't complain about that as it was his choice. Actually, I will say it is his LOSS!

When you love someone for as long as I have and that person knows this, it's very hurtful to be treated the way I was the last time we spoke. My heart is completely broken not because of what was said to me or the fact that we can never be a couple. But because he decided that our friendship is worth absolutely nothing. A friendship that spanned 20 years. A friendship that in the beginning was based on a mutual interest in the Bible and God.

I am not a spiteful person. I don't like animosity. I realise more than ever he did what he did out of spite and nothing more. 

With that, I am giving the definition as found on Merriam-Webster online of the word "spite": 

spite noun \ˈspīt\ : a desire to harm, anger, or defeat another person especially because you feel that you have been treated wrongly in some way 

Full Definition of SPITE 
1 : petty ill will or hatred with the disposition to irritate, annoy, or thwart 
2 : an instance of spite — in spite of : in defiance or contempt of : without being prevented by 

Examples of SPITE He is jealous and full of spite. 

Origin of SPITE Middle English, short for despite 

First Known Use: 14th century


Lija Broka said...

Oh dear. It looks that you have had some rough time. What can I say you gain friends, and you loose some. To think that at one stage you did not have those friends you have now might seem daunting, but it is just that moment before you have made those connections and met people, that even maybe only for some time mattered to you and you mattered to them. So maybe think that now you have a little more time, and a little more heart to form a new friend, that might be just waiting around the corner for you.

Your considerations for moving? Are you running away? Or running towards something? I have had a few rough days at work myself and especially since it is part time and I mainly rely on additional hours it is definitely time to find something different. I love my job, and my colleagues, but with the cuts, understaffing (that will get worse), constant changes that I feel mean that standard of work I can achieve is a lot lower than I am capable of. And who knows there is always a potential for redundancy. Yet I come home, I look at my cv and I am afraid of being rejected yet again. But one has to hope there is a plan and everything will work out eventually,

Anyhow, have you ever read 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho, it is very uplifting and talks about following ones dreams, the struggles and if one believes in something he or she will get it. I find his style of writing tends to lift up the mood. At the moment I am reading 'One hundred year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared'. It is a little unrealistic, but will make one laugh at things one should probably not laugh at. Allan (the main character) throughout his life is able to walk out on his life in just what he has on in search of something new.

Good luck! I'm sure you will pull through. For dark patches always are followed by light.

cucki said...

Sending you big hugs dear x

Marcy said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. How does that saying go? -- one door closes and another one opens. I hope a new door opens for you soon.