One thing that has been weighing heavy on me lately is that I wish I had spent more time studying the Bible growing up. Maybe I wouldn't feel so silly when bf and I speak about the Bible/Scripture and other things Christian. I love our conversations but he has so much more time invested and so much of the Book memorized that I sometimes feel stupid. I am not a new Believer by any means, but I am still in my "infancy" of learning.
I remember a couple of years ago planning to read the entire Bible and grow my relationship with God. That didn't work out so well. I fear I lack the discipline and need someone to hold me accountable. BF is very good at that and I appreciate his prodding even if it doesn't seem like it at times. I also have a mentor at church; one of the pastors took it upon herself to mentor me. Well, that hasn't been going too well either. The lack of discipline again.